A phase scary enough...

You just came to know about his existence few months back, you held a conversation with him and it was good. You like to talk to him and you both like to discuss various general topics around you. You feel comfortable enough to share your problems or we say confusion with him.

It's all normal and cool always... N then one day you start feeling like why does he need to talk to others and not with you too? You are comfortable when he is talking to you and others as well, but when he talks to others n not you, problem starts then and there...

How foolish I am to feel this thing? 
Do we call it jealousy?
Because I don't know him enough to feel jealous about him.

Do we call it insecurity?
Because I feel confident enough when he talk to others as well.

Do we call it an emotional hole inside me?
Because I know I am emotionally stable to take decisions about my life.

Or Do we call it just a phase?
Because this has happened again n again n again...

Yes it's nothing new for my diabolical mind, which keeps on clinging to someone just to satisfy her need of having a conversation, to connect, to get involved, to not left alone...

-@radhna

Games of my Life!

Candy Crush, Pirate Kings, Blocks I don't even know the names of all the games people play now a days. I use to get irritated when people play those stupid games and I was at the receiving end of those game requests like many out there in a friend list.

It was a waste of time. A no-brainer (I knoe it requires strategies and mind fuck) but still, why bother with those and not invest your time in some fruitful work? 

I got the answer today, being sick and lying in bed whole day, your empty mind seeks to those dreadful past and innumerable possibilities of your future. They are nothing but a devil lurking in the shadows, waiting patiently for a chance; a chance to escape into your mind and suck the life out of your present. Leaving you motionless and incapable of holding yourself together. You feel better when you succumb to those needs of crying your heart out or delivering those abuses you wanted to hurl on someone since long ago.

I found these silly games coming to my rescue when my books even lost all their charm during those blackouts. These silly games which doesn't require your mind or soul to engage, just go on with the chores of the process and waste away those thoughts dragging you to the darkness.

I never thought I'll ever spend an ounce of my time on these games, but today I am thankful to those for existing.

-@radhna